I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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