Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I can't turn off my feet"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
