member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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