i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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