And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize