I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
