hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
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Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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