Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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