Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
