google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
