Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
