But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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