Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
