found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
