i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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