at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
