remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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