Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
