Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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