she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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