I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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