Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I want a musical about memes.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize