My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
