If that was your dad, he is hot
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
