people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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