is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
As shirtless as possible
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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