How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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