Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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