They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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