so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
