It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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