trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
