a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
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We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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