he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
