happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
handjob tips. give me some.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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