you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
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people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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