she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize