2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
