It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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