dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
