well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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