How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
