thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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