Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
