At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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