...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
