why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
