we have officially lost it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
