From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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