Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize