And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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