are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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