I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
