come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
