i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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