So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
