I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Still dying that you shit outside
Someone came in the potted fern
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
