No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i love accidental penises.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
