Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize