did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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