I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
