dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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