If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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